Chapter 46

“Before we talk in detail, I went up to the rooftop with Ria.”

The association building served as both an office and a break area. It wasn’t a gigantic skyscraper, but it did have a lounge and a dining space inside.

And the rooftop wasn’t just a barren spot with air conditioning units and vents; it had a nicely decorated little garden vibe.

Could it have been enhanced by magic?

Glaria seemed to be leaning towards a more practical conversation with Ria’s uncle, Kim Hyun-gang, while Lee Si-yoon and Han Yu-ri headed back to the training hall, which reassured me. Well, even if the overall atmosphere in the association was a bit too lively for my liking, and Glaria was caught in the mix, I felt there wouldn’t be any serious trouble.

Idol… Hmm, actually, scratch that. It felt more like citizens greeting a highly respected politician.

I wasn’t planning on entering politics, but I had to keep my guard up to avoid any unnecessary misunderstandings.

Whoosh, a slightly cold breeze swept past us.

I shuddered a bit and thought, those green plants in the garden must be magically cultivated. Sure, it was the time of year for budding, but it shouldn’t be growing this lush.

Crunching on the grass, I walked up to the rooftop railing and leaned slightly against it.

“It’s nice up here.”

I muttered to no one in particular.

We were still in the heart of the city, and calling this building’s rooftop a viewpoint was a bit of a stretch, but the wide road in front and the sizable park next door offered an open view.

It was a weekday afternoon, creating a somewhat tranquil atmosphere, yet that was its charm. The people wandering below seemed remarkably relaxed.

Hunters usually fight for money. Still, they must have a bit of a desire to see such scenes below them while fighting.

In the middle of the park stood a large black monument. It wasn’t very visible from up here, but the names densely inscribed on it were those of the victims from the disaster that occurred here.

At first glance, the monument appeared tall enough that you might think it could topple over with a good shove, but in reality, it was deeply embedded below. With sturdy reinforcements on the sides, I heard it could withstand quite hefty earthquakes.

The robust nature of that monument stood as a promise to prevent such tragedies from happening again—a vow to be ready to respond before another major disaster could occur.

And right in front of that monument was the most comfortable relaxation area in this building. It felt too coincidental to be just chance.

……

And I had seen people get injured and die to uphold that promise.

“Here.”

Ria handed me a can of drink.

“Thanks.”

When I received it, I realized it was warm. She was pretty quick-witted.

It wasn’t unbearably cold, but since my hands were a bit chilly, I didn’t drink it immediately.

We leaned against the railing side by side.

There were no other hunters visible in this rooftop garden. Did they vacate the area upon hearing we were coming up? If so, I felt a bit sorry about that.

I heard the sound of a can being opened beside me.

Ria took a sip of her warm cocoa, wearing a slightly lost expression.

I had seen this expression on Ria before, but today it felt different as if she was pondering my presence.

It’s not my power. I’ve always thought that it’s not my power, so I shouldn’t take pride in it.

Even now, that sentiment holds true. To be honest, receiving praise made me both happy and somewhat uncomfortable, as if I were claiming recognition meant for someone else.

For some reason, I didn’t want to reveal such thoughts in front of Ria. Was this a childish impulse? I might be too close to her, someone I’ve been bickering with in the same room for quite a long time.

At the very least, she was the person I had the longest conversations with since arriving in this world.

“What’s wrong?”

To lighten the mood a bit, I intentionally asked such a question.

With my eyes closed and chest pushed out, I asked, “Do you finally see how remarkable I am?”

…There are plenty of counterarguments to that statement. I’ve already said multiple times in front of Ria that this power is not mine, and I wouldn’t use it for myself.

I expected her to jump in with a rebuttal right away —

But surprisingly, Ria remained lost in thought without saying a word.

“……”

I stared at Ria, pouting a bit, then poked her side gently… but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

…This was unavoidable.

I had lived as a woman for quite some time, and I had adapted to it for the most part. I was confident enough that I wouldn’t flinch if another woman changed clothes in front of me; though I couldn’t just stare directly at it.

However, one thing about this situation remained unchanged.

I… how should I put it, I like her.

That much hasn’t easily changed. I probably won’t be able to love a man.

Yet, even so, I couldn’t openly talk about such matters in this world.

This time frame can be called slightly futuristic from a modern standpoint; still, on matters of sexuality, it doesn’t differ much from reality.

Besides, I live in a convent.

Even in this world’s religion, there are plenty of taboos regarding that. Especially within the convent, things could get incredibly uncomfortable if we don’t stay cautious.

If Ria had even slightly showcased the atmosphere of that original story, I might have been more unrestrained. But in the original story, Ria liked Lee Si-yoon.

Regardless of wanting to interfere, I already knew Ria’s sexual orientation properly.

If we reveal such things between the same sex, it could ruin our relationship. While one might think that revealing one’s affection is separate from ‘liking’ someone romantically, humans tend to become more exclusive toward the unfamiliar.

The thought that women often have—“What if she likes me?”—could very well apply to the entirety of such dispositions.

…Ironically, Ria could poke my side, hold my hand or wrist, or pat my head because she couldn’t sexually acknowledge me that much.

In contrast, I couldn’t see Ria with nonchalance.

“……”

In the end, I simply folded my fingers again.

That’s right. I was being a coward.

What could I do? I had never really experienced proper love in my past life.

Even in college, regardless of female classmates or seniors or juniors, I couldn’t properly converse with any attractive individuals. Even if I was somewhat close to my roommate, acting such toward someone strikingly beautiful was a bit overwhelming.

Just when I was about to let out a deep sigh, Ria opened her mouth.

“Am I… treating you too badly?”

“What are you talking about?”

Fortunately, Ria’s statement was silly enough to dispel my heavy thoughts in an instant.

“No, I mean, therefore.”

My reaction to what I deemed ludicrous seemed to hit Ria as a sort of attack, and she started speaking while rolling her eyes around.

“If you’ve saved so many people, you could call yourself a hero, right? But you don’t flaunt it at all, so, um, in a way, don’t you seem more like a hero? So maybe I’m treating you too roughly… What’s up?”

“Ugh.”

Praise is indeed a pleasant thing. Accepting the head pats from someone as beautiful as Ria wouldn’t be a problem.

But being so overtly praised made me feel too shy. Was she doing this on purpose?

“What on earth are you talking about? Who’s poking a hero with a finger?”

“No, um….”

Ria seemed to contemplate what she was about to say for a moment before lowering her head slightly.

“Sorry….”

Then she said that in a quiet voice, almost a whisper.

Does she know? No matter how hard a person tries to look past their appearance, those annoying prejudices towards looks won’t vanish easily.

In my eyes, Ria looked like a genuine heroine, leaving me speechless.

A sudden surge of irritation washed over me.

Was it Lee Si-yoon who made this girl fall for him? To the extent that they even had their ‘first kiss’?

Given the nature of the novel, there must have been enough adult scenes.

But I quickly brushed those thoughts aside. Reflecting on such things in this situation seemed utterly inappropriate.

“Well, it’s not that I have no complaints, I suppose.”

I opened my mouth.

“But don’t apologize to that extent. Who are you trying to suffocate?”

“…Uh, no, that wasn’t it.”

“And don’t try to apologize again. What’s with you? Did you eat something strange today?”

“No, I’m just rethinking it.”

Feeling a bit frustrated, I stuffed my face into Ria’s face and quickly pulled back. Wait, what was I thinking?

Ah, right. Let’s not forget what we initially thought.

“Let’s not forget our original thoughts.”

“Original thoughts?”

“The church is just a place to escape, right? We’re only sticking around until the stalker issue is resolved, remember? We need to put the saintess business far behind and escape before things get too cozy.”

“Ah, yeah.”

Ria wore a facial expression as if she understood something with my words, but I thought that was all for the best.

Right. The church is merely a refuge.

When I first stepped out, it might feel good to be commended like this, but I’d soon find myself suffocating.

To me, it might just be an easy-going start to some volunteer work, but there would come a moment when it becomes… someone’s one and only salvation, and that’s something I can’t bear.

“I’ll engage in various volunteer activities while I’m in the church, but once I escape, I plan to live to avenge myself. For an atheist, you only get one shot at life.”

“Is that so….”

I pretended to poke at Ria, who responded with a bit of a deflated tone.

“So once we’ve started cooperating, let’s see it through to the end. Got it? Don’t let any strange thoughts creep in. Who on earth would think of making a hero out of someone?”

“Haha.”

Ria let out a kind of incredulous sound for a moment—

“Ha, haha!”

Then she burst into laughter, clutching her belly.

“What’s so funny? Did I say something hilarious?”

“Huh? No, no, it’s just that this situation is funny.”

With a long sigh, Ria placed her hand on my head.

And gently patted it.

“There, that’s how it should be.”

“What’s this supposed to mean?”

“Well, it has various meanings.”

Ria lowered her hand.