Chapter 32

“The conversation went on for about another 10 minutes.”

And at the end of that 10 minutes, realizing that something was wrong, I promptly took Ria and sought out the Cardinal.

Well, I guess I am someone influenced by Confucian thought to some extent. Although I don’t believe in ancestral spirits, I do understand how helpful etiquette can be when needed.

Basically, the Cardinal is a busy person, and even after meetings, he had other obligations.

So, I ended up waiting outside for about 30 minutes. Of course, this was partly due to my status as a saint candidate, teetering on the brink of actually becoming a saint.

“Why? Wasn’t that what you wanted? Couldn’t you have talked a bit longer?”

“No, no matter what…”

“Why? Is there a limit to atheism?”

“Ugh…”

And during those 30 minutes, Ria sat beside me, poking at my insides. I couldn’t even respond properly to her remarks; I just endured it.

After about 30 minutes of waiting, people began to come out from the room.

Some were in suits, while others were clergy members—older nuns and priests.

All of them recognized me and politely bowed their heads as they passed by. Astonishingly, among them was Lee Si-yoon in a suit.

He was one of the people who had testified quite passionately earlier. No wonder, he had received treatment from me right before he was on the verge of death.

But did he really have to be that enthusiastic? He could have just said, “I got healed and my HP is full.”

Receiving my resentful glance, Lee Si-yoon hurried his steps a bit.

Ria standing next to me let out a strangely satisfied chuckle, so I nudged her side, but she didn’t make a sound like I did, which made me even angrier.

After waiting for everyone to pass, I entered the Cardinal’s office, which turned out to be less extravagant than I expected.

Oh, sure, the ceiling was a bit high, but that was about it. It looked more like a room in a church that had been decorated as an office without any grand embellishments.

“You requested a meeting,” the Cardinal said, pointing to a table set for guests. While we sat down and waited, he served us tea and brought out snacks.

His unexpectedly humble demeanor left me momentarily stunned.

As he placed tea cups in front of us, the Cardinal sat across from Ria and me.

Did he notice something in my expression? His slightly slanted eyes looked exceptionally pleased, as if he had found something amusing.

“Is there something you would like to discuss?”

In his polite voice, I hesitated for a moment and then cautiously asked, “Um, did the church arrange for the lawyer?”

To be honest, I wanted to question it as soon as I entered, but his overly courteous demeanor made it awkward to be rude in return.

“Of course. Is there a problem?”

A myriad of thoughts raced through my mind.

For instance, why was that person chosen without consulting me? Wasn’t there a more competent scientist? Why choose someone who couldn’t maintain a skeptical viewpoint and look critically from a distance?

But I couldn’t bring myself to argue like that, so I carefully continued, “Could I ask why that person was chosen?”

Seeing me unusually polite, Ria stifled a laugh and trembled slightly. I wanted to elbow her in the ribs, but I refrained for the moment as we were in the midst of a crucial conversation.

“There are several reasons,” the Cardinal began slowly.

“First of all, he is the most famous atheism advocate in this country.”

“……”

That much I could understand. After all, he appeared on TV and was the head of a research institute.

But to be fair, most media figures often run their own institutes. Typically, those institutes aren’t grand; they’re more like houses that have been clumsily converted for such purposes.

While the size of a building doesn’t symbolize authority or credibility, it also means that anyone can set up a research institute and claim to be its head.

“And not only is he famous, but he is also part of one of the most respectable groups, and most importantly, he doesn’t put forth any other conspiracy theories apart from ‘atheism.’”

“……Other conspiracy theories?”

“Like the Earth being flat, or that the Apollo moon landing was actually a conspiracy by the US, or that we are humanoids disguised as reptiles, for example.”

“……”

Oh, right, I see.

In this world, atheism fell under the conspiracy theory category.

It’s only natural that there would often be a connection with other conspiracy theories.

“At least those people solely claim scientific evidence. Of course, their arguments regarding Saint Power, Magic Power, and physics asserting they all fall under the same theory lose some persuasiveness, but at least they aren’t the type to exploit Sister Anna for profit.”

“……”

Ah, yeah, that’s true.

I may think I’ve matured because of my past life, but in the eyes of these people, I’m still a fledgling adult.

And a newly grown adult isn’t vastly different from a teenager. Sure, I just gained the right to participate in society, yet I still occupy a position that requires protection.

Especially since I’ve supposedly lived my whole life in a convent, I would be regarded as more dangerous.

…When I think about it, the things real-life atheists say are quite similar.

“If miracles and gods exist, show us scientific proof of how they can exist and provide evidence.”

Of course, the religious retorts usually follow with “Things that can’t be scientifically proven can still be evidence,” allowing the concept of God to shrink between the realms of science.

The problem is that in this world, it’s the opposite.

The principles may not be known yet, but the phenomena clearly exist, and the more one follows God, the more established those phenomena become. The very reason I’m able to wield such immense power is that I can absolutely trust the source of that power.

“So why did you come to me right away after that conversation a short while ago? Were you unhappy with what was discussed?”

“Well…”

I shifted my gaze nervously.

The Cardinal patiently awaited my response.

Despite my first impression being less than great, and my outfit certainly not befitting a nun, he didn’t seem to regard me negatively at all.

At the very least, he did not think my powers were phony.

…Could it be that treating me like a rebellious granddaughter but keeping my position intact was somewhat similar to reducing my allowance? Even though they can’t just refuse to recognize the position of a candidate? They appear to accept the statement made by the priest and Sister Warden that I’m not a heretic.

While distracted by these thoughts, I realized the Cardinal was still staring at me, waiting for me to speak next, and I hesitated before beginning, “That power I used might just have been coincidence…”

“Oh?”

The Cardinal took a sip of his tea.

“Did you provide any evidence for that?”

“Well, since it was near a Gate, I thought the influences coming from beyond it might have affected me…”

“What about the power you usually demonstrated?”

“I didn’t really address that.”

As I subtly assessed the situation, I continued slowly, “That’s because I denied the existence of what’s above…”

“You mean God.”

“I don’t consider that being a God, but yes, denying that existence is a bit…”

“Denying that being as God is one thing, but are you saying you don’t refuse ‘Him’?”

“Every time I use Saint Power, I feel that presence. How could I deny it?”

“I see. Then why do you utilize that power? If you don’t believe in God, and haven’t studied the scriptures, that power could be seen as dangerous or corrupt.”

“Well…”

I paused for a moment, contemplating how to explain myself.

How can I articulate this?

I have never had a direct conversation with the being above. I’ve never genuinely prayed like others nor tried to ask something.

However, one thing becomes clear the closer I get to that power: that being despises human suffering.

That being, unable to be omniscient or omnipotent, genuinely rejoices when I save people through my means.

Thus, without any hesitation, I can borrow that power. Particularly since I’m also someone who enjoys reading novels.

If that was merely a deception, then there’s nothing I can do about it. My personality can’t help it. At the very least, I can’t just ignore the power to save the person right in front of me. I admit that I can be a bit too meddlesome.

“Then, I have one last question.”

As I muddled through in silence, the Cardinal calmly inquired.

“Being a Saint is an incredibly high status, higher even than my position. If you possess the power to rise to such a status yet refuse, what’s the reason? Once you reach that level, you could do so much.”

I can’t have sex, you know.

Oh, no, not that. Well, that’s partly true, but I can’t say that in front of this old man.

With Ria sitting alongside me too.

So, I explained a different reason that always occupies my mind.

“If I were to rise using my own power, if I climbed purely through my efforts, I would gladly accept it. But that’s not the case. I can’t rely on the power I don’t fully believe in.”

In fact, “I don’t want to” is also a huge reason.

Would someone who doesn’t even want to assume such a high position manage it properly?

Maybe it’s different if one is forced to do so to survive, since that wouldn’t carry much responsibility anyway.

But to be God’s representative for all of humanity?

With my personality, I wouldn’t know what I’d do if I ended up in such a position. So, it’s best to just avoid it altogether.

I don’t want to be remembered as the worst Saint in history.

“I see.”

The Cardinal simply replied, taking another sip of tea.

“However, I cannot cease the verification process.”

“Ugh.”

“If something goes wrong after rising to a higher rank, that can’t be helped, but we’ve received recommendations for the candidates already. The verification process is extensive, and the lawyer only serves to point out why the Sister is not a Saint.”

Moreover, when you look at it, the accuser can’t be recommended by the candidate herself.

Oh, that’s true.

Regardless of the reason, it’s someone denying “my position.”

The more I dislike that fact, the more it implies that I’m exactly the person suited for that role.

After hearing the Cardinal’s words, I sat there for a while, dazed.

I thought the Cardinal would simply dislike me.

Why?

As I again caught the light reflecting on my face and instinctively brushed it away, I noticed the Cardinal watching my actions quietly and hesitated to lower my hand.

In the end, I didn’t manage to voice a single rebuttal until I left that room.