Chapter 1: Candidate and Candidate
For the past 15 years, meaning until I reached the age of “nice” (whatever that means around here), I tried my best, but getting kicked out of the convent turned out to be way harder than I thought.
Being the rational, logical human I am, I contemplated ways to sneak out of the convent without breaking any laws, but the church’s laws in this theocratic state were far more sensible than I’d anticipated.
In this country, the church’s convents and monasteries serve as orphanages. And the concept of “replacing the orphanage” is part of the country’s welfare system.
Naturally, the kids at the orphanage can’t just leave unless they committed some serious crime. Nobody listens when a child says they want to leave and live independently.
Especially if there’s no abuse, it’s usually judged that the fault lies with the child rather than the parents.
According to the standards of this world, this convent wasn’t very problematic, and I was just a rebellious kid leaving a “I hate living here!” impression since childhood.
Kicked out? Yeah, right. I ended up graduating high school from a convent until I became an adult.
By the way, the graduation ceremony is the day after tomorrow—and—
….
Recently, because of some personal issues I became aware of, I requested a meeting with the Sister Warden.
“I see, that must have been tough, Sister.”
As the Sister Warden placed a tea cup in front of me, she sat down and watched me quietly before saying exactly that.
“No, don’t brush off that story as some ‘thing.’ You know? There’s this strange person waiting for my reincarnation! They’ve been waiting since I entered high school! If this goes on, I’m gonna be confessed to the moment I reincarnate!”
“Sister, even if you receive a confession, you can always refuse…”
“I don’t want to! Absolutely not!”
Me? Receiving a confession? From a guy? No thanks, really.
“Uh, Sister, does that mean you’re giving up on reincarnation…?”
“No, of course not. I just want it postponed for a few years.”
“Sister, I’m really sorry, but delaying your reincarnation ‘temporarily’ without a valid reason is institutionally impossible.”
The tone of the voice from beyond the partition had become very bureaucratic.
Actually, that’s not wrong. The church’s religion here is the ‘state religion,’ and while attending church isn’t obligatory, it’s generally encouraged.
Moreover, during certain holidays, it practically becomes mandatory.
“But…”
“And as long as you remain with the church, you must maintain your purity for a certain period while fulfilling your duties as a sister. And that duty includes the biblical studies you’ve been vehemently refusing until now. I’m sorry, but we can’t conveniently protect someone lacking in faith in the church.”
“No, that…”
“Since you mentioned ‘temporarily,’ and to add to that, one of the laws for temporarily remaining in the church is entering the theology division.”
“…….”
“Anyone can become a theologian, not just sisters or monks, but unfortunately, your knowledge of the scriptures falls below par compared to other sisters.”
I couldn’t argue against that.
Anyway, it was true. Someone who tries to deny God should be staring into science books more than the Bible. And thanks to that, my scores related to theology were pretty much rock bottom.
“If you feel like there’s a stalker, please contact the authorities after reincarnating.”
Leave secular matters to secular organizations. That was also true. That’s why I was trying to hang around a bit longer!
It’s really unfortunate; attending the ‘church’ in this world is a great habit. Even though this country’s South Korea is a theocratic state, it doesn’t completely deny the secular world.
The church handles matters related to religion and also takes charge of some social welfare. It only cooperates with issues that involve the existence beyond the gate.
No way do they want to completely deny all those good things people enjoyed during the secular state, because there’s too much to lose according to their standards.
Therefore, it’s not an issue if someone stalks a nun coming to the church. Even though it feels like there are around seven unpleasant guys constantly watching me whenever I come to church, at least they seem like devout believers coming to pray.
Moreover, due to regulations that forbid men from casually speaking to nuns inside the church, those presumed stalkers, well, for now, don’t really talk to me. They’d get in trouble if they did.
Nuns can go outside, but minor nuns never walk alone. The nuns from my reality would take buses and subways alone, but in this world, most clergy members handle divine powers, and those who can do that are rare.
Basically, they travel in groups, and if someone is particularly cared for in the church, they get a security detail. Yeah, I guess that’s quite rational.
The problem is, with such thorough protection, there’s no way to prove that a stalker is actually a stalker.
No, wait. If you think about it ‘rationally and logically,’ they might not be stalkers at all.
They could just be ordinary guys who are in love with me, waiting for the right moment to confess.
….
No, even thinking that way feels super unpleasant.
“Sister, I know this might be awkward for me to say now, but…”
I knew with too much frequency that an awkward statement was gonna pop out, but at least at this moment, I couldn’t just run away uncontrollably.
Anyway, I was thinking of stalling here for another year or two.
“As I mentioned, if you keep your hair properly hidden under the veil and don’t dye parts of it, and if you loosen that weird belt around your chest, you might not attract attention from those kinds of people.”
…It was indeed a bit of a selfish thought.
“Sister Warden, I’m sorry to say this, but worldly crimes don’t simply occur because a woman exposes a little bit of herself.”
“…….”
Yikes.
“…So, are you saying you weren’t trying to impress the male believers by dressing like that?”
Uh…
“I’m well aware that I’ve mentioned this multiple times, but let’s sort things out again given the current circumstances.”
Clearing her throat, the Sister Warden spoke calmly.
“From what I’ve gathered, you haven’t exactly been faithful in participating in biblical studies. Well, that’s okay. The church laws in this country mostly take the form of customary law, and just because you’re a bit less committed, they can’t forcibly punish you. Prayer is meaningful only when a believer does it willingly with a sincere heart; what meaning does it have just to keep up appearances? Plus, you didn’t intend to become a nun in the first place.”
Let me reiterate, most of the orphans in this country are taken care of by the church. The church has taken on a part of that ‘welfare’ burden.
Since I’ve been without parents from a very young age, I’ve been living in this church’s convent for a long time.
“That’s all fine and dandy.”
The Sister Warden continued.
“Sister, you wrote a letter to the Cardinal right after you became a Saint Candidate. You bluntly mentioned that you didn’t think you qualified to be a saint since you didn’t believe that the being referred to as ‘God’ was actually God.”
“That’s one thing…”
“And the Cardinal, infuriated, stripped you of various rights you could have as a Saint Candidate. You don’t seem to remember how much trouble the priest and I went through to prevent you from being summoned for heresy trials.”
“…I still feel really sorry about that…”
“Honestly, I don’t understand how someone with such powerful divine strength can lead a life so detached from ‘faith.’”
I had absolutely nothing to say about that. Naturally, I didn’t even know that myself.
To be honest, I just thought that the guy who thinks he’s God must be messing around and imposing this setup on me.
“Sigh.”
The Sister Warden sighed deeply and took a sip of green tea from her cup.
Then, looking at me with my head hung low, she quietly opened her mouth.
As I jerked my head up, the Sister Warden smiled wryly.
The term Saint Candidate literally means ‘just a candidate.’ Fundamentally, you’re still a nun. Of course, since you possess incredible abilities, we might grant some conveniences, but how can we dare to lower the position given to you by the Lord?”
Wait, isn’t that position of being a saint or saint candidate something made by humans? Nobody up there decreed that “she’s a saint.” At least, based on the most recent information I read, there was no such thing.
“Well, take your time to think and let me know. You have a bit of time left, right?”
“Ah, Sister Warden!”
The Sister Warden stretched out her hand and gently placed it over mine, speaking kindly.
No, that’s not it.
But if I said that now, it seemed I might lose even that thread of hope, so I kept my mouth shut.
People who already think religiously can’t be convinced no matter what I say.
Besides, I absolutely don’t think I’m a god, but from their perspective, something that is perceived as divine inexorably exists in this world.
“Oh my.”
As I thought about that ‘not a god but treated like one’ existence, a faint beam of white light appeared above my head.
Seeing the Sister Warden express mild amazement at this, I realized too late what it was and waved my hands to disperse the light like swatting away a fly. Strangely, that ‘light’ scattered like smoke when I waved my hands.
“Sister, that is—”
“……”
When I kept my mouth shut and said nothing, the Sister Warden sighed deeply.
“In any case, I believe your faith is proven by that light.”
It’s probably just an act of that guy trying to mess with me.
Of course, I know how to control my emotions enough not to say something like that in front of a religious person.
“Well, that’s fine. Everyone has their own path they want to take. If the path you want to take isn’t that one, I won’t push you.”
The Sister Warden spoke while gazing at me quietly.
“Even if you don’t become a saint or enter the theology division, there are still a few ways for you to stay here a bit longer.”
As I leaned forward excitedly, the Sister Warden lightly nodded.
“First, you can join the Church-affiliated Knights Order. No matter how much you might have skipped classes, you know that there’s a Knights Order within the church, right?”
Of course I knew.
As often seen in this worldview, the secular world boasts a ‘Hunter Association.’ But that’s not the only association they have. Depending on whether the organization has “Great,” “Korea,” or “National” attached to its name, the title changes in a similar fashion, and this world is no different.
They also seem to have entirely private companies similar to the ones in the civil sector.
Correspondingly, in case the church needs support, they also operate such organizations called ‘Knights Order.’
…Considering religion has only existed for a little over a decade now, using the name ‘Knights Order’ feels a bit cringey, I think.
But since they somewhat inherit the positions of older religions, let’s not say too much about it. Picking at every little thing would just be tiring.
“But there’s a high chance that you’ll fail the entrance exam for that Knights Order. You probably can’t recite the scriptures at all.”
However, the expression on the Sister Warden’s face wasn’t teasing in any way.
That means there’s genuinely some kind of ‘method’ here.
“But there is a way to join through a recommendation.”
“So that means…!”
“I’m not saying I’ll recommend you.”
I let my arms droop at the answer that came before she even finished her sentence.
“However, I can suggest someone who’s deserving of the right to recommend you.”
“…That’s a super vague position.”
“Right now it is vague, but once you step down from the ‘candidate’ status, and if you’re on friendly terms with that person, it’s entirely possible for them to elevate your position to one where no one can harass you.”
Oh.
I leaned my upper body towards the table again.
“Who is it?”
“Starting tomorrow, she’ll be walking the same path of training as you. Her name is ‘Lee Chae-eun.’ You might have heard of her once.”
“…Ah.”
I had heard of her.
In this life and the past life.
“Even if you graduate, you don’t need to leave your room immediately. Generally, you have until the end of May after graduation to sort things out. It’s the time to decide how to spend your time in the secular world, and consider whether to further your studies or find a job.”
So, that means I have to persuade this ‘Lee Chae-eun’ until then.
“As for other methods…”
“To suggest once again, securing your Saint Candidate position would be another.”
“……”
As I watched the Sister Warden leisurely sip her tea, I found myself at a loss for words.
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