Chapter 47

Clearly, Erto thought that once he was alone, he’d just change his attitude without looking back, but when it actually came to him, my body just didn’t cooperate.

It was like she was caught in inertia, just repeating the actions she had always done.

“Why?”

Was it because she had lived with a mask on for too long?

That mask was stuck to her face, refusing to come off.

“No, this isn’t right, my heart… my true feelings…!”

Even as she thought rationally on one hand, strange words came out of her mouth as if they were possessed.

“I must commend you for at least grasping the subject belatedly!”

“From now on, may you dream dreams worthy of your own capacity! Oh— ho ho ho ho!”

“No! That’s not what I mean!”

Something was seriously going wrong.

It was time to stop hurting Erto.

She knew all too well how indestructible he was, no matter how much he tormented or belittled her.

So why was she still spewing lies?

It was as if she had been devoured by the character of ‘Elconja’ she had been playing all this time.

Why, why?

Just stop it.

Why can’t you be honest, Seldienne?

Why are you still hiding the feelings you wanted to communicate so badly?

Even as she hesitated and dithered, Erto kept forging ahead without stopping.

With a heavy heart after parting with Bruerd, he endured harsh training in response to his and others’ suggestions.

And in an incredibly short period, he made astonishing progress, breaking even her overwhelming lead and advancing to the semifinals of the Martial Arts Contest.

He was no longer just some pathetic commoner.

Not only his attitude toward her but also his own inner strength was truly becoming that of a dazzling prince.

It was she who remained stuck in place.

There were no obstacles anymore.

The overwhelming adversary, Tirisia Bruerd, had already stepped out of the competition.

So why couldn’t she take just one step forward?

Seldienne realized for the first time in her life that she was a cowardly and weak human.

Having taken what she wanted without any hindrance until now.

Yet there was no courage to reach for fruits she wasn’t sure she could touch.

What if Erto hated her?

What if she confessed and got rejected?

This vague fear was blocking the next step Seldienne had long planned.

In truth, she genuinely wanted to congratulate him on his growth.

When he had defeated her, the joy she felt toward him outweighed the bitterness of defeat.

She wanted to openly praise Erto and raise a toast together.

But she couldn’t even reveal such a tiny truth, missing her opportunity.

No, if only she had a little more time…

When she was ready in her heart, she would truly convey her feelings to him.

Yet, while Seldienne hesitated, an unexpected disaster approached.

Erto’s public execution gathering all students from the Academy.

The students, completely under Kerg Durakal’s influence, were furious and sought to erase Erto’s existence from the Academy entirely.

Moreover, the shocking fact was that she had to take charge as the representative of the noble alliance leading that plan.

She remained silent without showing any intention.

But the nobles naturally elected Elconja as their representative.

Because it had to be Elconja, who was in the highest position, to speak for all the aristocrats.

Seldienne genuinely hesitated to sit in that spot.

No, she wanted to refuse outright.

To be at the forefront of erasing the person she loved from the Academy.

Regardless of whether that execution was justified or not, what kind of madman would ask her to do such a thing?

It was an utterly unacceptable request.

But—

For Seldienne, who had lived as a high aristocrat her entire life, there was a face she could never throw away.

Though she loved Erto for a short time, she had lived her whole life as Elconja.

If she expressed dissent against casting him out, she would break the trust the nobles had placed in her.

She would surely be seen as a traitor who betrayed the united will of all the nobles.

Though the Elconja family was one of the most powerful noble families, she wasn’t so misanthropic as to turn all nobles into enemies and isolate herself.

Even the high aristocracy, in the end, was just a part of society.

If she became a public enemy there, an unbearable future would undoubtedly unfold.

That fear sent chills down Seldienne’s spine.

The position of Elconja as the representative of the nobles, and her love for one man, Erto.

She had to weigh those two and choose one.

‘… Maybe, just maybe.’

In that confusion, Seldienne recalled a tenuous hope.

‘If it’s Erto, maybe it will be okay?’

It was a truly selfish, petty, and cowardly hope.

So far, Erto had taken all the verbal abuse and blame she dished out without a care.

Would it really be alright to hurt him just once more?

If it was that Erto, wouldn’t he accept his fate even if he got expelled from the Academy?

And then she could help him rise again later with the power of Elconja.

He still saw her as a friend, so maybe he would understand if she betrayed him this once.

Surely he’d let it slide, thinking something had happened.

If she met him again and offered him a helping hand, wouldn’t he come up to her without any reluctance, calling her by the name Seldienne?

With that dangerously precarious hope, she ultimately became the representative of the noble alliance.

And the result was—

“Aaaaah!”

Seldienne once again buried her face in the bed and howled.

Why did she ever dream of such a vain hope?

Why hadn’t she seriously considered his feelings?

Why did she think that no matter how much she hurt him, Erto would be fine?

Erto, after all, was just an ordinary person.

He’d hurt if hit, and his heart would break if she spoke harshly.

Why did she mistake him for a fairy-tale prince who would accept anything she did?

Now, he didn’t call her Seldienne anymore.

He called her noble lady Elconja.

He didn’t even speak to her informally as a friend anymore.

He spoke formally to high aristocrats.

“I hate this… I hate it…!”

The sheets wrapping the bed began to dampen.

Endless tears flowed from her crimson eyes.

Regretting her foolishness of the past, Seldienne pounded the bed with her fists again and again.

It felt so good when Erto called her name. It made her so happy.

Miu and Jury used to always tease him, but that’s actually what she wanted him to call her.

Seldienne. Seldienne. Seldienne.

His beloved voice stirred her mind incessantly.

“Ah… Erto!”

The wall clock now pointed to 5 AM.

Seldienne wailed, moaned, and cursed her past self all night long.

There had always been a chance to stop.

There had been plenty of time to turn away from the wrong path.

Even after utterly ruining Erto’s trust, she thought.

He never even got angry with her.

He just tried to sever their relationship.

Now she understood how big of a consideration that was.

That was the final gesture of friendship, to let her forget all her mistakes without asking for anything in return.

The foolish and cowardly her had even kicked away that very heart from Erto.

She never got to apologize or confess sincerely, just spewing harsh words like always.

“You idiot… you idiot…! You idiot―!”

Seldienne curled up on the floor, pounding her head with her fists.

Now, truly, nothing could be turned back.

She had completely ruined everything with her own hands.

Erto was surely thinking of her as an enemy now, not even as a friend.

Whenever she recalled the expression on his face and the words he had uttered last, her heart felt like it was being torn into hundreds of pieces.

“Ah… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…!”

Her mouth that had so easily uttered apologies in his absence felt detestable.

But even if she said those words to herself now, they wouldn’t mean anything.

It was over. Seldienne’s first love as she knew it. In the worst way possible.

“……”

After sobbing for a long time, Seldienne slowly opened her eyes and pushed herself up off the floor.

“No, no.”

A flicker of resolve shone in her crimson eyes.

“It cannot end this way.”

With her fists clenched atop her knees, Seldienne, as if she’d received a revelation, realized what she had to do.

Even if it was too late,

Even if it was meaningless,

There were words she had to convey to him.

“Even if you don’t listen, my lady…”

A ray of sunlight began to assert itself beyond the distant horizon. Dawn was breaking.

“Just one last time, I will be honest. Seldienne.”

Cutting ties with her past self, welcoming a new morning, Seldienne made her final resolution.

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