Chapter 800

【…….】

Hersela, who had been defeated in one blow, felt so humiliated by the fact that she had let out such a moan that she tightly shut her mouth like a clam.

Thanks to that, I was barely freed from a long, boring lecture about the 108 virtues a Heavenly Demon should possess—something I had zero interest in. Isn’t this akin to the miracles of a saint who repels all evil spirits with a single prayer?

When the Saintess closed her eyes and spoke a single word, the sky demon, causing a ruckus, felt ashamed and let out a scream before disappearing. Could there be a more sublime miracle than this? Holy and holy indeed!

…Something like that.

It’s not exactly wrong, is it? I’m the Saintess, and she’s the Heavenly Demon.

If her hair had been pink, she might have been a more perfect Heavenly Demon… but if that were the case, she probably would’ve dyed it gold or black instead.

Pink hair on this face? It wouldn’t suit her at all—like, *really* not at all.

Pink hair only suits airheaded, ditzy characters, exhibitionists who wander around half-naked, or cute little sister types.

And I’m none of those, of course.

—

Thanks to getting some proper rest, both Damien and I managed to recover some of our energy. So, right after breakfast, we took to the skies and began descending the mountain.

While flying, we happened to come across some Beastman scouts and turned them into Beastman meat.

“You’re not eating? It might look a bit off, but it tastes just like beef.”

“Uh… no, I’m good. I’m not really hungry. You can have mine, Ha-shal-leur.”

It had been a while since I’d had fresh meat, so I was pretty satisfied, but Damien didn’t seem too keen on it.

Maybe I should’ve sprinkled some spices on it or something?

—

Unlike when we were wandering the mountain range searching for the Holy Sword, descending the mountains was a breeze.

We didn’t have to scour the surroundings, desperately searching for familiar landmarks. All we had to do was fly straight south.

And so, in just half a day, we reached a small village at the foot of the mountain range.

At first, I thought about flying straight to Pailoon Castle, but for some reason, an instinctive sense of crisis told me that wouldn’t be a good idea.

It seemed better not to rush back. Instead, we decided to rest for the night, wash up, and do some laundry before heading back. That would be better for our health.

So.

*Creak.*

The old wooden door let out a squeaky scream.

“Huh? Who’s that, outsiders?”

“What are these guys doing, covering their faces…?”

The northerners, who had been drinking, suddenly turned their attention to us. They glanced at the longsword hanging at my waist and the pile of Beastman hides Damien was carrying, then quickly averted their eyes.

“……That’s Beastman hide, right? And pureblood at that…”

“Could they be Beastman hunters from Pailoon…?”

Even if they whispered, I could still hear them.

“Why would the castle’s hunters come to a place like this…?”

The northerners muttered with voices full of caution. It seemed they had mistaken us for knights from Pailoon Castle.

I didn’t feel the need to correct their misunderstanding. It wasn’t harmful to me, after all. At the very least, it meant we wouldn’t get caught up in any annoying schemes.

“Two single rooms for the night. Plus, a bath and laundry. How much will that be?”

So, ignoring the northerners who kept glancing at us, I walked up to the counter and spoke to the innkeeper, who was wiping down an empty glass with a cloth.

I didn’t expect a small inn like this to have a proper bathroom… but they should at least have a bathtub, right?

“A bath and laundry, you say…?”

The innkeeper awkwardly rubbed the glass he was holding and trailed off.

He didn’t say it out loud, but his expression made it clear: in this weather, in a backwater inn like this, expecting a bath and laundry was a bit much.

“I’m not expecting a proper bathroom. But you do have a bathtub, right?”

“Ah… yes, we’ll prepare it right away. However….”

“However?”

The innkeeper’s shoulders slumped pitifully. I wasn’t sure why.

“Well… it’s quite a bit of work, so it’ll cost 50 silver….”

That was an absurd price for a night’s stay and a bath.

But, considering the effort it would take to boil water by burning firewood and then carry it up to the bathtub on the second floor, I could understand to some extent.

“You don’t need to boil the water. I’ll handle that myself.”

I flicked my fingers and conjured a Rune Flame, showing it to the innkeeper.

“A magician…!”

The innkeeper’s face turned even paler. It seemed like this was his first time encountering a magician.

Well, knights might be rare, but you could still run into them occasionally. Magicians, on the other hand, were so rare that most people might never see one in their entire lives.

“An inn without a proper bathroom probably can’t handle laundry either. We’ll take care of that ourselves. That should be fine, right?”

“Yes, yes! In that case, 10 silver will be enough!”

The innkeeper’s attitude became much more respectful. I chuckled and reached into my pocket to pull out a 10-silver coin—

Ah, come to think of it, I hadn’t anticipated needing to spend money, so I hadn’t brought my coin pouch at all.

Right now, neither Damien nor I had even a single silver coin to our names, let alone 10 silver. We were practically penniless beggars.

In that case…

“I’ll pay with this.”

I took one of the Beastman hides Damien was carrying and placed it on the counter.

“Gasp…!”

“It’s a cleanly skinned Beastman warrior hide. This should cover it, right?”

I felt like one of those troublesome convenience store customers trying to trade a pigeon for soju, but…

Unlike a useless pigeon, a pureblood Beastman hide was worth at least a dozen gold coins, so he couldn’t possibly complain. Right?

“Um, Sir Knight. I’m sorry, but we don’t have the money to give you change for the hide….”

What kind of inn doesn’t even have gold coins? Typical backwater.

“I don’t need change… Oh, do you sell magical cigarettes here?”

“Ah, yes. We have a few….”

“Great, give me all of them. You can keep whatever’s left after selling the hide.”

It’s not like a few gold coins would make much difference to me anyway.

“Yes! Thank you, Sir Knight! I’ll show you to your rooms right away!”

Of course, what was pocket change to me was a huge windfall for the innkeeper. He even broke into a wide grin and led us to our rooms with the utmost politeness.

Once again, the eternal truth was proven: nothing makes people kinder than fists, swords, and money.

—

After unpacking in the shabby single room, I stopped by Damien’s room to heat up the bathwater the innkeeper had brought and gave him some sincere advice.

“Wash it thoroughly. If even a hint of the smell remains, you’re dead.”

If you don’t want to get beaten, make sure your clothes are clean.

“Threatening to kill me over a little smell is a bit much….”

“What are you talking about? When did I ever say I’d beat you to death?”

“You didn’t?”

What does this guy think of me? Does he think I’m some kind of maniac who beats people to death over a little sweat smell?

“Anyway, you’re so clueless… We’ve been camping together for days. If your clothes reek of my sweat, do you think Milia would let you live? Right?”

“Ah….”

Damien nodded absentmindedly.

If my guess was right, thanks to the Holy Sword, he had awakened to emotions. That meant he must’ve understood just how dark and deep Milia’s love was.

So, just imagining Milia’s reaction was enough to make his face pale.

“But… if Milia’s the problem, couldn’t we just ask the maids at the mansion to do the laundry when we get back?”

“Rana’s at the mansion, remember? She’s still young and doesn’t have a clue about these things. She might blurt something out without thinking.”

If, during their reunion, Rana said something like, “Damien oppa smelled just like Ha-shal-leur unnie!”, the fallout would be something even I couldn’t handle.

“So wash it clean. So clean that even the Beastmen’s noses wouldn’t detect a thing.”

With that, I got up and opened the shiny doorknob to head back to my room.

“…Rana’s clueless?”

I ignored Damien’s muttering behind me.

Yeah, to you, even Rana seems sharp. When you’re at zero, even 40 looks impressive.

—

The cigarettes the innkeeper gave me amounted to only three packs. I guess there wasn’t much reason to stock up on such luxury items here?

Well, it’s better than nothing.

I dipped my hand into the bathtub in my room and heated the water until it boiled and steamed, then got in and lit a cigarette, humming a tune.

“Haaa….”

After days of camping by the fire without a proper wash, soaking in the scalding water felt like my whole body was melting.

After finishing my bath and laundry, I spread my coat over the fur-covered bed that looked anything but hygienic and lay down to sleep.

There was no need to stay awake in case of uninvited guests.

If they thought we were just ordinary travelers, fine. But if they mistook us for knights and a magician from Pailoon, the villagers wouldn’t dare sneak in to harm a sleeping woman unless they had a death wish.

After all, even though this was a backwater village, it was still part of Duke Pailoon’s territory. If they committed crimes against travelers, the knights of the ducal house would raze the place to the ground.

So, I fell asleep without a care in the world.

—

*Swish.*

“Huh…!”

…Until I was startled awake by the sensation of something blunt gripping my chest and stimulating my groin, causing me to let out an involuntary moan.

“Who dares…!”

I sat up with a murderous expression, ready to smash the skull of whoever had the audacity to disturb my sleep.

But,

*Whoosh!*

My fist only cut through empty air.

Why?

“What the hell is this?”

There was no uninvited guest who had sneaked into the room.

So, what had grabbed my chest and rubbed my groin? If it wasn’t a person’s hand, then what was it?

Well, there’s only one possible culprit in this room besides me.

“Haaaa….”

I let out a deep sigh, overwhelmed by a wave of pity and disbelief, and glared down at the Life Force Technique tendrils coiled around my body like tentacles.

‘What are you doing? Trying to prove your title as the Heavenly Demon of Moans again?’

[ No, this is… it’s not what you think! It’s a misunderstanding! ]

Hersela, startled by my awakening, flailed around like a middle school boy caught in the act, desperately trying to explain herself.

‘If it’s not what I think, then what is it?’

A misunderstanding, huh? I’d love to know what exactly is being misunderstood here.

If this wasn’t a situation where a woman, high on her own lust, had secretly used her tentacles to pleasure herself while I was asleep, then what exactly was it?

[ I mean… it’s because I fell into such a deep sleep that the Life Force Technique slipped out of my control! ]

‘…….’

I pressed my temples, feeling a headache coming on, and closed my eyes in silence.

I’m about to lose control of my mouth, you know. Is that what you’re calling an excuse right now?